Life is so unpredictable. One never knows what tomorrow will bring. But it is so true that “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” Even the death of a best friend could be a benefit to the survivor. It is so hard to see any positive outcomes out of any form of negativity, for most seem not to look past the moment. So, I lost a best friend two years ago, and it is still not easy at times. However, I have learned to take the many things that remind me of her and cherish those moments that we had to make memories. No one can take that from me, for she always will be in my heart and my memories. Sometimes, it is hard to be thankful for those things because of the selfishness that I exhibit through my want of her to be in my life, now. Men come and go, but best friends are forever, in this case forever in my memory. I will never let the memory of us go, unlike men I had rather forget (some) or let that memory burn. Sometimes I wish she could be here to see what I am doing now. I know she would be so proud, but she is somewhere so much better. Still it is so hard because we were so close, and I guess nobody will ever understand what we went through then unless they were a part of my life. I wrote her a message on thanksgiving on her myspace:
Heyy my sweet candi cane. I miss you everyday girl. I see your picture, hear one of our many favorite songs, or God just places you there, on my heart. I love you girl always and forever. i am thinking of you during the holidays and your family. Be with them in spirit you sweet angel, you! Watch over us and continue to sing and rejoice in heaven with our Lord. We all love you and miss you and your wonderful spark.
i miss you, best buddy, every day but I am thankful that you are in a place free from sin and misery. But then i am selfish at times too. Anyway Happy Thanksgiving, I am thankful that I had the opportunity to be a part of your life.
xoxo always
Leigh Ann :)
If have learned anything from this experience is that God has special plan for all that happens in everyone’s lives. This was one the hardest things I have ever had to go through. Candace died in a drinking and driving accident. I know part of God’s plan was to teach all of those around her how fatal that drinking and driving can be. Most teenagers and young adults do not think about consequences or what could happen. It always seems they are in the moment and that everything will be okay. However, that is so untrue. We never know if have tomorrow or even tonight. I have learned from this accident. I tell people about it, and I even have a speech to my college class in memory of her doing my best to persuade the audience to not drink and drive. She would have wanted people to learn from her mistake. The thing is, I think she really would have chosen to be the one to go if it saved one person. It not only saved one, but it touched many lives, including my own.
But now it is like, God is testing me. So much keeps on happening that is hard, a struggle, a lesson to learn, or a learning experience. As people get older, they do acquire wisdom. They have been through so much that they deserve to be respected for the wisdom and knowledge that they know. At the time that we go through struggles, it is hard them as a learning experience. For instance, I lost my boyfriend, I know that God has such a special plan for me, but it is so difficult to wait for God to reveal that to me. It is just hard losing someone you love and rely on, in a sense. He was my best friend for a couple years, and I felt like he would always be there. However, God has something better for me. This is all His plan, and that is a such relief when I think about like that. God is in control, and he loves me and will show me one day. I just have to wait….
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